Thursday, October 22, 2015

Oh, and then there was the GPD XD

JXD S192 Singularity Android Game Console looks like it actually has the chops

In these frigid times, the worst and driest Chinese console winter of recent memory, one would be forgiven for losing all hope of ever playing with a handheld in the sun again. Better to buy a PS4 and become a GTA V in mom's basement.  Nothing else required.

But then, this protocell comes oozing out of the JXD skunkworks, festering into evolved multilife and bridging the epochs of 2012 and 2015 in a single generational jump.  As usual, for something not quite released, it is stunning on paper:

Size Weight
length: 274.1mm
width: 143.6mm
thickness: 53.3mm
colour: black

MaterialFull HD Retina display
Size7 inches (diagonal)
Resolution1920*1200 323ppi
CPUNVIDIA Tegra K1 quad core, 2.0GHz ARM Cortex-A15
GPUNVIDIA Kepler GPU, 192 CUDA cores
Flash memory16GB support ; Micro SD (TF) UP TO 128GB
Game Supporting
Android GameNvidia special effect android games
Nvidia Tegra K1 chips Exclusive Games
Google PlaySupport
WLANsupports 2.4 GHz and 5 GHz;802.11 a/b/g/n/ac
BluetoothBluetooth 4.0
Rear cameraRear 13MP zoom camera
Front camera5MP
Video1080p (1920x1080) HD video recording
Capacity10000mAh Lithium-ion Polymer Battery
Gravity sensorYes
Drool worthy aspects for me (yep, I'm repeating, but if you don't like it, go visit that other dingoo site (hah, gotcha, didn't I?):

  • Some insanely powerful Nvidia Chip - not a Rocky, not an Amlogic - we're looking here at the  Tegra K1: an Xbox 360 only leeeeetle!
  • 1920*1200 323ppi screen, so even when this baby disappoints because upscaled Mr Do! just somehow don't seem right, you can still happily use the darn thing to watch xVids!
  • Look at those sexy dual analogs, dpad, xbox inspired buttons and the shoulders!
  • An f2.0 camera lens.  In a little known (albeit better known) Chinese product of this kind, this is nothing short of miraculous.  f2.0!

And it's spawned this, the ultimate commercial, titled, really, "Crazy Finger Joy":

You really need to see it to believe it. Go back and click play. Now.

You can actually order one too: here and here! Indulge and report back please!

Or just go here to whine about the price: , or to discover pretty graphs like this one:

Thursday, July 16, 2015

It took this guy to say it: "Company claps Commodore brand on back of generic smartphone, gets attention"

Well put, sir!

We, at the bleeding edge of this sort of thing, have known about merciless and unworth cash-ins on middle aged nostalgia for years. Slow news day at Wired. Thank goodness for the androidpolice! Like the G-police, they got your back.

Which actually brings me to today's topic (before, perhaps, I go slumbering again into 2016, maybe April): the way the mighty have fallen, I think we could crowdfund getting the Commodore logo onto this most suitable of unpunny devices, for, oh, a couple of fishbones and a broken pencil:

Image result for commode

Has a nice ring (har har)  to it, don't you think?

Who's with me?

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Say mwarhrrrr***drool*** to the GPD XD Android Gaming Console

You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. It wasn’t too long ago that an Android tablet with gaming controls was released every few months (and was supported for just about as long, but we won’t go there).  After a while, our eyes glazed over and we all stopped looking.

And then, nothing. I don’t know why. Good however, comes with the bad. Just like staying away from incognito mode on your browser can heighten the sensation of its eventual relaunch, there is now a curvy new pronm queen on the block: the GPD XD. I want it.

Here it is:

Cars, guns, balls! The freedom to choose between them all! That says. It. All. Yeah! What else does a handheld gaming console fan who’s been going dry need to wet his whistle? Those sexy curves, those round little nubs, those colourful buttons just begging for some delicate tweaking ….. oooooohhhhhhhh ….!

 But I digress. Here are its specs:

GPD XD Tablet GamePad

RK3288 Quad Core 1.8GHz

ARM Mali-T764

Android 4.4.4



5 inch H-IPS capacitive touch screen


 Extend  Card   
Support T-FLASH (Support 128GB max)

Back 0.3MP








AVI(H.264, DIVX, XVID, rm, rmvb),  MKV(H.264, DIVX, XVID), WMV, MOV, MP4(H.264, MPEG, DIVX, XVID), MPEG, MPG, FLV(H.263, H.264)

Supported Game Types
PSP/DC/ONS/NGP/NDS/N64/PS1/ARCADE/MAME/GBA/AFC/FC/MD/WSC/GBC/Arcade Games/Android Games/Computer Games, etc

 I/O Port
1XUSB 2.0 OTG port

1XMicro SD Card port
1X3.5mm Earphones Port
1X HDMI port

3.7V/6000mAh Li-ion battery



1 x Tablet PC

1 x USB Cable
1 x Charger (DC 5V, 2A)
1 x Adapter (the adapter depend on the country of the buyer.)

Want some real detail about this sucker? Follow the 11 page dingoonity thread here:

And if you’re so inclined to preorder, you could do a whole heap worse than helping me out and using this link:

Which is to say, pretty please with sugar on it and a red cherry.

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Five arcade games you MUST play before you die

For me:

4. Mr Do

You controlled a ballsy clown.  Read that any way you like, pun intended, as this pixellated blob from the golden days of 25c arcades could finish levels in multiple ways - eat all fruit on screen, kill all pursuers with his ball, flattening them with fruit, or collecting randomly appearing letters to spell a word.  All this while dodging enemies (what were they exactly?!) and tunnelling in the best possible way to create a torturous route which if done right, resulted in a killzone for your trusty balls of death! While always a classic, Mr Do never quite elicits the same response as Pac Man, which I put down to the fact that deep inside, we're all freaked out by Clowns.  That's not Mr Do's fault however.

3. Bank Panic

This arcade gem looks today like something whipped up by a 3 year old - colourful blocky graphics and cheery simplistic music, but for gameplay it remains unique and unmatched.  You control 3 gunsights. Yep, 3, at the same time, each mapped to a separate button.  Doors open to reveal either bank customers or bandits, drawn cleverly to resemble customers.  Shoot the bandits, don't shoot the customers. Perfect to pick up and play in 30 second bursts, this is the perfect subway game with a modern save state enabled console. This is just begging for an Android native version, or a clever Minecraft level mod remake.

2. Exciting Hour


Another relatively unknown arcade game, this wrestling slugfest lets you take on opponents like the (misspelt, or cleverly parodied) "Insane Worrier", and the politically incorrect "Cocoa Savage", obviously Quentin Tarantino's inspiration for Django.  While there was only a joystick and  2 buttons, Technos managed to cram more than a dozen unique moves into the combos, setting the stage for later classics like Street Fighter 2 or today's incomprehensible UFC games.

1. Galaga

Galaga is Space Invaders evolved to perfection. After Galaga, the art evolved into scrolling Shoot Em Ups, for there was no more for the static screen shooter to achieve. Galaga was devilishly simple to learn, but almost impossible for the average player to conquer for more than 10 minutes, which I put down to being caused by extreme greed, once the rudimentary power up mechanics were discovered.  Back in the day, you had to work hard for your money, as boosting the ship's capabilities involved a tortorous process of getting your ship tractor beamed, then frantically trying to blast the alien that captured it- and your reward for all this was simply two shots at a time! With no plot to speak of, the goal of this was only to score big, which consumed too many of my university hours and I'm sure cost thousands in lost earning potential.  But hey, I got to experience gaming in its simplest, purest form, when the words "High Score AYY" meant something.